THE CONFESSION
Before I begin and tell you about my coaching session with Tajda Glazer let me first make a confession. A confession about something that has brought me shame and insecurity for many many years!
I started seeing a psychiatrist at the age of 14. And, with that came many many therapists/psychologists. In these sessions I spent much of my time saying the ‘right things’, the kinds of things I knew to be enough to get me through the session! Also, I still see a psychiatrist today.
THE BACKSTORY
Why do I tell you this you may ask?! What does this have to do with my coaching session?! Everything really! Quite simply I think therapy in the traditional sense of the word is an absolute waste of time. Now, before anyone gets themselves tied in a knot disagreeing with me, I have, to some extent changed my opinion.
In my opinion, traditional therapy is not for everyone (and I happen to think I’m one of them) healing and growth came through a different channel for me. It came first, through books! The Chimp Paradox in particular had a staggering effect on me and helped me to look at myself more critically and find my patterns, particularly my negative thought patterns.
Of course many will say my approach is nonsense, and perhaps they right. However after 25 years of therapy, saying the same things and feeling the same way I can’t help but disagree.Having said all this, I refer only to therapy in the traditional sense and my own personal journey. I do not pretend to know what is right for anyone else!
Now, even I know there is only so far books can take you. For some major AHA Moments you need something extra!
THE COACHING SESSION
One of those ‘something extra’ for me came by way of a coaching session with Tajda. I already had a good understanding of what some of my most frequent and reoccurring patterns were but I didn’t have a clear strategy of how to overcome it on my own!
At the start of the session, Tajda also explained how transformational coaching is about looking forward as opposed to looking back. I found this incredibly helpful and feel it played a big part in making the session successful. The relief was immediate when I realised I didn’t have drag up things in my past and it felt like a breathe of fresh air. Now I was open to anything!! I have no control of my past but my future, well, that is all up to me!
So, as I mentioned earlier I’m not particularly sold on the ‘talk it out’ approach. However, Tajda’s manner is incredibly calming and comfortable, she leaves out all the typical therapy questions that make me gag and put my guard up. Over the course of the hour she let me ‘lead’ and work at a pace that I was comfortable with. It was such an organic process and she helped me see that I was more focused and accomplished than I give myself credit for.
Next, we worked on one particular pattern that continually hijacks my progress. With a simple technique I was able to put things into perspective so that it was no longer ‘crippling’. Funny how the human brain always try’s to prove the negative if we let it. Of course that is only the first step, but using the technique and replaying the words and the session we had I continue to make small steps to stop it overwhelming me.
THE OUTCOME
Well, I thoroughly enjoyed the session and I realised that often ‘we know’, we just don’t know that we know!! So for anyone who is reluctant to try traditional therapy, but feels stuck and meh, I highly recommend coaching sessions with Tajda! Read Therapy vs Coaching, it’s great starting point for anyone wanting to know the difference.
Finally, I want to point out, that whilst I’m not a ‘huge fan of therapy’ I would be a shell of a person without my Psychiatrists. Also, there is absolutely not point to suffer in silence!! I’m pretty sure 99% of people would benefit from speaking to someone and there’d be a lot less red tape in life!
A NOTE FROM TAJDA
Long-lasting and sustainable change happens when we:
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address our blocks at the root (blocks are whatever is stopping us on the way to reaching our goals)
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inquire into and reprogram our limiting beliefs
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stay consistent in aligned action and form a new behavior/way of being over a longer period of time
I find what best serves my clients to achieve the results they are looking for (either internal or external) is to offer them longer coaching containers of at least 3 months, preferably 6 months because that’s where deeper transformational work can happen and it equips them with powerful tools they can use for the rest of their lives.
Change can happen even after one session, but that’s just scratching the surface – in order for clients to make bigger moves towards their goals and start living a life they truly want (fulfilling and loving relationships, more income, a better job/position at work, writing a book, starting a business, more confidence, peace…) we need to go deeper, transform their blocks and create an aligned action plan that will help them create whatever they desire.
This type of work is particularly powerful because we work on 5 levels to ensure transformation – somatic, mental, emotional, behavioral, and unconscious – and it combines transformational and performance coaching with modern spiritual practices.