Adversity in life, let’s face it, it happens! “My life is ruined! How will I move on with my life? Will I ever feel ok again?”
How many of you can relate to this? Something painful and unexpected happens – you lose your job, you break up or get divorced, lose a loved one, you suddenly fall sick or your business fails. It literally seems like your world has been ripped apart and nothing feels normal or stable anymore.
What if I told you that there’s a way to gracefully and easily handle whatever life throws at you and masterfully overcome any life crisis?
Most people feel completely devastated in these situations because they either don’t have the understanding of why it happened or don’t have the tools to overcome it and process the emotions and changes that accompany it. I’ve navigated breakups, long-distance relationships, depression, panic attacks, death and sadness, resistance, frustration, anger with no idea how to help myself. Having said that, I have also been through similar stuff (perhaps even harder!) only the next time I had tools and a deeper awareness of what was happening and that helped me feel better.
To be completely honest, it’s painful either way because it’s a process! BUT with a few tools and a greater awareness it is more gentle, more graceful and much easier to handle and overcome the crisis in question.
If you’re currently going through a difficult time and are feeling helpless and lost, here are three tips on how to get through this time gracefully and heal more quickly.
1. Stop resisting and accept its happened
When something “bad” or painful happens, our mind often goes into resistance mode. It doesn’t want to accept what’s happened, it tries to rationalise everything, wants to know why, how, when. Almost as if if we dissect the situation long enough, that it will somehow help us change the past. But what happened happened. Let it go. Give yourself permission to let all of it go. Don’t spend your precious energy trying to change the past because that’s impossible. Instead, I invite you to accept what has happened. Life has already accepted it, otherwise, it wouldn’t have happened. Just breathe in, breathe out, and accept that it is what it is. Acceptance is the key to feeling better instantly. Try it out. Also, remember accepting doesn’t necessarily have to mean you agree with what happened! Overall it only serves to free yourself from trying to control something that has already happened and is in the past.
2. Trust that life is kind
Life/Universe/God/whatever you believe in…it loves you unconditionally. It loves you so much that it will never allow you to stay in a situation that doesn’t serve you or isn’t for your highest good, even if your mind was determined to not change anything. Our minds like to make plans for the future and are very reluctant to let go of our dreams and ideas, even long after we aren’t really happy in our current reality. But even if your mind keeps convincing you that your life was perfect or not so bad – if it really was that amazing, life wouldn’t have interfered. It only steps in when you forget about yourself, when you lose yourself. It loves you so much it can’t allow you to risk your essence, even when you are willing to trade in everything you are for a situation, job, relationship that doesn’t fulfill you or allow you to grow and expand. If you are truly honest with yourself and look closely at your past situations, you’ll be able to recognise why it had to happen and the lesson life was trying to teach you. The choice is always yours of course. You can choose to believe that everything is here for you or that everything is against you. Just choose what feels better for you.
3. Really look after yourself
You’ll hear me say this time and again, no one but yourself is responsible for your wellbeing in this world. Not your parents, your partner or your kids. Your wellbeing is your responsibility. And when you’re going through a tough time that’s when you need yourself the most. You’re at your most vulnerable. You’re hurting. This is not a time to abandon yourself. A lot of people put all their focus outside of themselves – on the situation, on the other person involved – but that’s just going to bring you further away from you. Ask that wounded and hurt part of yourself: “What do you need from me right now, sweetie? Do you want me to hold you when you cry? Run a bath for you? Make you a meal?” Be the most loving parent to yourself, especially now.
Adversity in life happens, but know this.
- Everything always happens for your higher good even though it doesn’t always look like it on the surface. Your mind may not understand it, but your soul does.
- Ask yourself: “If life is intelligent, if life is kind, what is it teaching me through this situation? Where have I forgotten about myself?”
- You got this. You’ve overcome soooo many difficult situations already and you will get through this one too. The Universe is on your side.
So next time adversity comes knocking on your door remember….You’re never alone. You have yourself. And, you have the support of the ‘Universe’ in whatever form you choose it to be.
