THERAPY VS COACHING: Which, When and How?
About two years ago I was having panic attacks on a daily basis. I felt incredibly anxious about my future, my life and my then relationship. My mind was constantly imagining the worst case scenarios. Also no matter how much I talked with my family and friends, the number of self development books I read and online courses I took, how much personal development work I did on my own, I just felt like I wasn’t getting anywhere or feeling better.
It got to a point where I knew I couldn’t deal with it on my own and I just wanted to feel better. And in addition, stop feeling so powerless over my negative thoughts which seemed to be winning all the time.
At the time it wasn’t an easy decision for me to make. In fact asking for help or going to someone for help felt like I failed at something. All my life I was surrounded by strong women and no one in my family ever “got help” from anyone. So that was a huuuuuuge limiting belief I had to work through right then and there. This is one of the main reasons why I’m so passionate about destigmatising people getting any kind of psychological help. So long story short, thank god I did get help, because it was one of the best decisions of my life.
Literally after my first session I felt like a mountain was lifted off my shoulders. Like I could breathe again with my lungs open! And more importantly, I could relax because now there was someone there for me. More specifically, a professional who could guide me through my challenges, someone who had helped people in the same situation as me.
THERAPY VS COACHING: WHEN TO ASK FOR HELP AND WHICH ONE TO CHOOSE?
So, you’re deliberating whether to invest in a coach or go to therapy? I’m always a strong advocate to follow your instinct and just try. The only regret I ever had was not starting sooner and for trying to do it on my own for so long! So much so, that two sessions in I wondered “Whyyyy on earth did I put myself through so much anxiety when I could have done this a year ago and felt better almost instantly?”
There’s something really powerful in having someone there that supports you. Someone that gives you a new perspective, that believes in you and in your ability not only to heal, but to reach for goals beyond your dreams.
If you’re finding yourself in a similar situation (whether you feel stuck, anxious or you want to uplevel your life) I want to offer some clarity around the main differences between therapy and coaching, but just know that there are so many incredible options out there for you, whether on a physical, mental, emotional, energetic or spiritual level – acupuncturists, acupressurists, sound therapists, hypnotherapists, reiki masters, shamans, mediums. You will always be able to find something that works for you.
THERAPY
For the most part, therapy often focuses on your inner world. To clarify, it supports you on the mental and emotional level and helps you work through your traumas, problems and their origins. In comparison with coaching, therapy spends more time on your past than your present or future.
Psychotherapists are specialised in helping people overcome mental illnesses and are the only ones allowed to treat them (either with medication or psychological means, depending on their background and qualification).
COACHING
Coaching is much more present and future orientated. It focuses on finding solutions and discovering ways of how you can reach your goals. Also, it helps you recognise your strengths, values, self-worth and develop your potential so that you can truly unfold and express yourself fully.
Through coaching you get to know yourself better and it supports you in your self-realisation, which ultimately leads you to living a happy, fulfilling and healthy life.
What a coach can’t do?
Coaches can’t treat mental illnesses.
What a coach can do?
Coaches can however support you in difficult situations that don’t have a medical cause. For example, your personal development and growth, your purpose, confidence, relationships, career, work, goals etc.
As you can see, coaching and therapy both have their own purpose and they each have their own beautiful way of supporting you.
Even if you still can’t decide between the two, you will intuitively know which one will support you best in this moment in time. When I was looking for help two years ago I searched through so many therapists and coaches in Frankfurt and none of them really clicked for me. In the end I found an amazing hypnotherapist that was also a coach and that combination was perfect for me because my anxiety was mostly connected to me being stuck and wanting to get clear on my direction in life.
FINALLY, HOW TO CHOOSE THE RIGHT OPTION?
Just listen to yourself and trust your intuition when it comes to the type of support and person you want to work with. Is the person guiding you embodying and living a life that you aspire to live and do you feel comfortable, fully accepted and at ease with them? If yes, then that makes a great foundation for a successful coaching/therapy relationship and for personal growth and healing
Investing in your wellbeing, the best investment you will ever make!
Investing in your wellbeing. Why?
The simple answer to that is… If you’re not happy and at peace, does anything else really matter?
You can have all the money in the world, the most perfect house, be loved by millions of people, but if you don’t feel good inside, none of that has any meaning. That’s because we don’t need external things and they certainly can’t make us happy. They’re here to make our experience more enjoyable and to make life more fun, that’s it.
Despite that, most of us start investing in external things first, forgetting about our biggest and most important investment – our own wellbeing. The truth is, when we’re not at our best, life isn’t as enjoyable. And when we are at our best, we elevate our own life and everyone else around us.
A few days ago I watched an interview with Armie Hammer [Hollywood actor, known for movies like Call Me By Your Name, The Social Network etc.] and he was explaining how he was unhappy and not his best self during quarantine and how his life and his family suffered because of it. That experience allowed him to finally see the connection between his wellbeing and the quality of his life (and those around him) and he decided to start looking after himself and invested in a therapist.
“Your outer world is always a reflection of your inner world, so start to become aware of your inner world and make your wellbeing your number one priority.”
There are many ways you can invest in yourself, but today I want to mention just three. Firstly, investing in your knowledge. Secondly investing in your personal growth. And finally, investing your time to connect with yourself.
Invest in your knowledge/education
Knowledge is power! So educate yourself! About money, relationships, business, fitness, whatever you are curious about and whatever lights you up. Keep growing, keep expanding your horizon and your perspectives, keep learning new skills.
Read books from people who are already living the life you want to live and find out what they did to get there. Invest in courses, certification programs, seminars, books. Never stop learning and become your greatest asset.
Invest in your personal growth
My personal growth, happiness, success, confidence, satisfaction accelerated beyond my imagination once I started investing in my wellbeing. Namely coaches, therapists, courses, group programs etc. This type of work can not only heal or support you through a challenging time in your life, but it also helps you understand that you are limitless (the only limit is our mind). As a result, you find yourself achieving goals and creating experiences far beyond what your mind thought you were capable of. It transforms you from inside out.
As a coach I constantly do the inner work and keep investing in myself and my wellbeing. In order for me to deeply serve my clients, I have to be in my greatest power and alignment. And if you think about it, it’s the same for you. When you are in your greatest power and alignment, you can best serve yourself and your loved ones.
Invest your time in connecting with yourself
Your most important relationship in your life is the one you have with yourself. You need yourself. You need your love, attention, appreciation, compassion, acceptance, adoration. You are the one you have been waiting for, it’s not your partner, parents, kids or friends. They absolutely matter, and it’s wonderful everytime they see that in you, but you yearn to be seen and heard by you.
A perfect way to start building that connection and wellbeing within yourself is to meditate, journal, go on walks alone, take yourself out on a date. Spend time with yourself and enjoy your wonderful company.
Make yourself your number one priority and never save on investments in yourself, whether it’s time or money. You are worth it. You deserve to feel good. Always.
What are some ways you could start investing in yourself in the next month (buying books, taking a course, investing in a coach or a therapist, daily meditations)? Which one can you commit to?